Yes, I believe we do define it differently. Your email address will not be published. The reaction to this level of expression is often one of being offended or shocked or in disbelief, not because it is an attack or with intent to hurt, rather it is natural reaction to something outside what we have otherwise been told not to do. It speaks so truly to the honorable heights as well as the darkest atrocities of American history. - The Island of Hawaii - Page 13 - City-Data Forum, When Candor Means They’re a Jerk | Leadership Freak, Online Course – Endless Referrals: The Go-Giver Way. My husband is always tactful, and I go back and forth between tactful and very direct. On another note, even preceding a statement by saying you are going “to be honest with you” sort of implies that you are not always honest. It’s not weak, it’s not coddling, it’s being straight, but without vague name-calling and other verbal abuse. This name has a hauntingly appropriate meaning for its most famous bearer, Pakistani women and children's right activist and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Malala Yousefzai. Information and translations of hauntingness in the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the web. . I always thought brutal honesty meant being blunt. Or, perhaps correct negative behavior. I agree that you don’t have to be brutal to be honest. What does haunting expression mean? My Thought: Consider the source. They said the greatest virtues in a politician were integrity, correctness and honesty. The original lyrics had four verses, of which only two are heard on the original recording. at least for me, I feel added stress in the US to not offend anyone, on so many levels. Putting aside the value of kindness (for its own sake) for a moment, even if only for practical reasons being tactful is much more likely to ensure that the person will not only not be defensive and resistant, but is much more likely to be open to and accepting of your advice. Thus, I cannot help but question the person’s intentions when they start off with this phrase. ...haunting prose. Again, I think what’s happening here is what we call the “false dilemma” (the unnecessary use of the word, “or”). Leaves the recipient feeling dazed and confused. ...the haunting calls of wild birds in the mahogany trees. Just my opinion, of course. Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. “Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. I wish more people were brutally honest with me as I try to be with them. And, a small percentage of the time, there might need to be brutality in that honesty.”. I agree we can be “Brutally Honest” although the Term I would use is Honest and it can be done with “Compassionate Passionate Communications” which is the term I use and prefer all of the time…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. b : fairness and straightforwardness of conduct calling for honesty in politics. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us. It’s a persona, like any actor. You would think having no filter would alienate everyone. What does hauntingly mean? Just a form of verbal abuse where the speaker justifies their inability to be persuasive using other more effective forms of communication. I recently opened a new business and had a complete failure of a service with an extremely difficult client. Hi Danielle (and please call me Bob), there’s no reason that tact should come across to someone as less than authentic or phony….because it’s not either of those. Whenever I asked someone permission to be direct with them, they always welcomed the feedback and appreciated the insights. It has nothing to do with others, it has to do with honestly expressing self. 2 conduct that conforms to an accepted standard of right and wrong. It stuck with me for hours and hours after I saw it because of the severe contrast between the gorgeousness and ugliness of human beings in a hauntingly honest way. It can be music and or a beautiful woman. Remember, the premise of this post is not that you shouldn’t be honest. Thank you for sharing with us! Either way, my observation is still a perception they may want to address. I think the need to be honest is absolutely necessary, but the need to be brutally honest says more about the person doing it than the message. Strong people blame themselves, and weak people blame others. Never attack. There’s never a need for verbal abuse. Then: Do what you know is best…. Bob, I appreciate the way you took on a tough topic in this post. Have a great weekend! Sigh, in this society, we can’t even express why we are doing some openly, with honesty, without being misconstrued as intending to harm on others through, even if they are purely self serving actions. Also receive Bob Burg's weekly, How realistic is our plan to relocate - feel free to be brutally honest! Well Said.. Another Great Post… Learn more. I have been on the receiving end of both tactful and brutal honesty, and, while the latter can appear quite hurtful, I have known where the person sharing their thoughts with me stands. Definition of haunting in the Dictionary. I think where we differ is our definition of brutal honesty. So being “brutally honest” speaks to the motivation and character of the speaker and is little more than a self-serving rationalization for abuse under the intended guise of being helpful. 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