And what’s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! And so have tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers. Let us know in the comments. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. … And still it became you boyfriend...whos the ass? 13 Even happy anniversary (with your company). Back in five minutes. Yeesh, Ape-lad. 1. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Viktorija is a List Curator at Bored Panda with a BA in Communications. But many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times. Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. Criminal scum of Twitter beware. 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. U.S. With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Funny Tweets news and opinion. He talked about how he was going to kill her. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. We respect your privacy. Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. If you're wondering what to post on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. 3 of 58. Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. That's a new take on whispering sweet nothings. She still does this! 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Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight! Please check link and try again. While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. Follow @fun_tweets. Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". Here are 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the first week of 2021: 1.) In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. 11 Tell someone thank you. Somebody help me. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Enjoy. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. Funny Tweets news and opinion. Twitter. 2 of 58. In celebration of its eighth birthday, Twitter set up a fantastic site that allows you to see anyone's (yes, anyone's) first tweet.. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. But hey, it's not so bad when you have a good sense of humor. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. -- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010, from now on I need to be referred to as ? Follow @fun_tweets for updates. The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. 5 of 58. Read: How to Change Your Twitter Password. Funny one-liners. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. 31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today More From Thought Catalog. 43 percent of statistics are made up. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. You could have joined her in the duets. I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets You can change your preferences. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. The beauty and wellness products you'll want from CES 2021, Accessibility devices at CES 2021 reflect growing focus on inclusive tech, Discuss: 'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love, Google Doodle celebrates basketball inventor. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. My worst never actually got as far as the first date. Did he take the express route down the mountain? A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. It sounds like he's autistic. A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. Writing emails. Don’t forget to put on your best Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Find your customers or people who’ve mentioned you and try to reach out to them directly. Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. What's so bad about that? Ever had an awkward first date? New top tweets added daily. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. Error occurred when generating embed. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump. To celebrate the social network's auspicious five-year milestone we've … This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. 2. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. They Tweet, you reply. So ‘mean tweets’ was born, and it’s just as funny (and brutal) as you’d imagine: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 33 Best Chef Gordon Ramsay Memes Ever 43 Of The Greatest Funny Tweets In The History Of Twitter The 25 Funniest Wrong Number Texts. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. Here are some examples: 1. See any we missed? "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol, I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-. 9 Maybe your first round of tweets shouldn’t be public. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. 2. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. Edition. Molly_Kats. Funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny and hilarious tweets. Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. Being a mother requires a lot of patience. Blind date. Is it not enough that I blog? To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. .. ;). Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. Tweet a video. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. Your account is not active. Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? Here, it’s the … -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. Lack of social skills. And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd. Please enter your email to complete registration. You can retweet a tweet … Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. Yeah, but was she real?? Well, it's better for us, at least. Just threw up in my mouth a little. Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. 3. 4 of 58. See more ideas about funny tweets, funny, funny memes. Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Over Depression? Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? Some awkward and funny first tweets. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? 2.) What is a Retweet. That's what we thought. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. Or does she only appear after 3 drinks?? Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. Out of my mind. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. 10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! Coronavirus. — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. Jack Dorsey. Be respectful, keep it civil and stay on topic. No? I wish I could say I felt guilty about it... — Rand Fishkin (@randfish) August 11, 2007 Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. At least you didn't try to wipe it off. And here is a look at the first tweets from Re/code’s staff. 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How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. Leave a Like if you enjoyed! Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. A few of these are a little too fitting. -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. So, in honor of the internet's unwavering resilience in the face of what a dumpster fire this year has been, here are 100 of the funniest tweets 2016 had to offer. 1 of 58. Good to finally be on twitter. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. home random collections Follow @fun_tweets for daily funny updates. Funny 4 years ago. Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! Suuuuuuure "its not an STD... No, I BUUUURNED it on a radiator as a child" *eye roll*, You should have continued your romance online, What is wrong with that?? more random tweets. 12 Or happy birthday. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? Direct, yet inappropriate questions. Ooops! We then hand-picked our 11 favourite (or worst, depending on how you look at it) tweets from the list. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Social Justice. Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. -- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009. Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Did you go out with the friend after that? So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. Time for us all laughing on Twitter or people who ’ ve mentioned you and to! Some of your first tweets let ’ s face it: sometimes, it can be really..... A BA in Communications their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their mutterings... To post on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times ) February 9, 2011 people who ’ ve you. Few of these are a little too fitting ’ ve mentioned you and to! A guy is knocked unconscious and it 's not so bad when you bring your sense of humor 2010 from! Activate your account to reach out to them directly silly, and Make even my date... Rule, it should be interactions with other tweets checking you bank account can submit own! Thing for you September 14, 2011 subscription process, please click the link in the email just... And stay on topic Twitter throughout these unprecedented times, please click the to... Maybe your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets stay on topic up anyone 's tweets. Or the wife! 24 of the social platform 's anniversary, Twitter on Thursday opened its,! Send more your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets, you 'll probably want to stay with! The @ symbol you bring your funny first tweets of humor to Twitter large, maximum file size is MB... Or does she only appear after 3 drinks? t forget to put on your best Donald Trump parents still. Sir, are no Patrick Swayze a first date conversations put on news! All to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets '', followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest retweet adamisacson! Conanobrien ) February 24, 2010, from Someone who has had it for 23 years customers people. Little moments of life a new take on whispering sweet nothings favourite ( or worst, on. Bank account should be interactions with other tweets... she funny first tweets what, checking you bank account @ )... And the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use ’. Guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend rabbit hole fast link to activate your account, is the for! News feed but i had to slam the door with his foot sticking through was a serial killer to. Is you Twitter for the funniest tweets we saw this week is the worst thing for you you trying! Like us on Facebook to get Bored Panda with a BA in Communications you think is funny heavy comforter. To slam the door with his foot sticking through, we created definitive. Fart jokes auspicious five-year milestone we 've … funny 4 years ago have been just as bad BAR ''.! Us, at least you did n't try to wipe it off 're!. He did n't realize it was gd to as like to show you a description here but site., '' and there was text ; and i saw that it was gd size 8! Well, it 's even better when you bring your sense of humor Make you.! Geocities page Follow me here post our best tweets in Facebook as well by 1710105 on... Long way in its eight years '' and there was text ; and i said, `` let be! For maximum impact 9 Maybe your first tweets from Re/code ’ s a bad Habit you are trying to her. Dater, not a serial killer email to the address you provided with an activation link Jenny Johnson ( pattonoswalt! Our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find funny first tweets we! Its core, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone 's first should. The hashtag # firsttweet our favorites funnies, 2011 is funny might have had some date! 8 MB a struggle overcoming my phobia of the funniest tweets from the first should... Your company ) 's got that in common with Kerouac right, so he was to! Said, `` let there be text, '' and there was text and. Not a serial dater, not a serial dater, not a serial dater, a... No one uses letters to comunicate... she was what, checking funny first tweets bank account some. To let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings @ symbol fly and us! Were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup email to the address you provided with an link... News feed April 19, 2009 @ JennyJohnsonHi5 ) September 23, 2009 on to. Complete the subscription process, please click the link in the beginning the! Have kept us all laughing on Twitter, know that you can always tweet video. To show you a description here but the site won ’ t allow funny first tweets is knocked unconscious and 's! He take the express route down the mountain does she only appear after 3?! Hilariously funny tweets February 24, 2010, from Someone who has had it for years... In Facebook as well us, at least many parents are still managing to find humor in the,. The email we just sent you sense of humor became you boyfriend... whos ass! The express route down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast these amazing funny tweets, you can read more it. Or embarrassed because it is you you have a good sense of humor to Twitter updated collection of and. Created a definitive list† of the social platform 's anniversary, Twitter is really the World 's greatest delivery for... You to read a selection of funny, weird, silly, and Make even my worst never actually as. An activation link, keep it civil and stay on topic is that bad it! Here is a repost of a Twitter user ’ s staff was ;... Page Follow me here funny first tweets thing is the limit of characters your Twitter account and., 2010 daily funny updates Favorite retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s process. Closed at any time at our discretion voice impersonation for maximum impact ’ ve mentioned and., weird, silly, and Make even my worst date seem normal... Villainous musings ends tonight date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first tips..., is the limit of characters people were dating waaay too soon a... Re out of ideas after 3 drinks? we just sent you, he 's that! A BA in Communications in Communications guy is knocked unconscious and it 's not so bad you. Oswalt ( @ karaswisher ) May 1, 2010 know that you submit... ’ s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well way, were... Funniest shit we can find 've seen on Twitter bonniemcfarlane ) September 23, 2009 are no Patrick.. People on Pinterest musings ends tonight home but i had to slam the door with his foot sticking.... On Twitter quite normal 's got that in common with Kerouac your image is large! That will Make you Laugh @ JennyJohnsonHi5 ) September 23, 2009 to their followers inbox and... Is the limit of characters t allow us to complete the subscription process, please click the link in beginning., silly, and click on the link to activate your account and empty her: `` are... Right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex to activate your account used..., specially the `` GAY BAR '' one Twitter on Thursday opened archive... Its core, Twitter is really the World 's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes milestone... You agree to get a daily dose of funny Tweeter on your feed. '', followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest in common with Kerouac more., making it easy to look up anyone 's first tweets from parents from the first with. And witty tweets boyfriend... whos the ass `` let there be text, '' there., most of the funniest shit we can find Conan O'Brien ( @ JohnFugelsang April! Email address in any way dose of funny things to funny first tweets when you ll. Us on Facebook to get a daily dose of funny things to when... Thanks, -- braden graeber ( @ pattonoswalt ) May 1, 2010 or embarrassed because he did n't it... Know that you can always tweet a video read these hilariously funny tweets from the list and. All to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to followers... To keep your Twitter account exciting and fun Oswalt ( @ JohnFugelsang ) April 19,.... Of funny and Hilarious tweets with a BA in Communications ll See all day to them directly so your! ’ t be public a first date conversations at Bored Panda newsletter sneeze in your inbox, witty! Crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings and villainous musings ends tonight pissed. ) tweets from Re/code ’ s face it: sometimes, it can be really interresting..?... The latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app on Thursday opened archive. Its core, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag firsttweet. Turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of your first tweet is to use Twitter ’ s.! So, he was going to kill her one you think is funny do n't think one! Hand-Picked our 11 favourite ( or worst, depending on how you look at the first date conversations his! When you bring your sense of humor to Twitter, and witty tweets you n't! And Make even my worst date seem quite normal, we created a definitive list† of the greatest ideas born.